The Worst Balloons Ever Invented

By Ann

Featuring: Ann, Shawn, Mom, Katie, Maia, and a special guest voiceover from Grant

Awhile back, Shawn celebrated his 7th birthday. By awhile back, I mean this past February. Yep, he’s one of those fancy-pants leap year babies, who only gets a real birthday once every four years. Needless to say, turning seven was a big occasion. My mom attempted to celebrate by buying Shawn balloons. Little did she know that she had unwittingly purchased the worst balloons anyone has ever invented ever. Because, you know, it seems like balloons only have to serve one function: to inflate. Seems easy enough, right?


Just watch what happens when the following brave souls attempt to blow one of these stupid things up. Will any of our valiant heroes succeed? Will the villainous balloon prove unvanquishable? Is unvanquishable even a real word? Only time will tell. Time, and watching the following videos. Enjoy!

Round 1: Ann vs. The Balloon

Round 2: Shawn vs. The Balloon

Round 3: Katie vs. The Balloon

Round 4: Bicycle Pump vs. The Balloon

Round 5: Maia vs. The Balloon









Unvanquishable is totally a word. As in, that balloon appeared to be unvanquishable, UNTIL MAIA CRUSHED IT WITH HER MONSTER LUNGS. OOOOOOOHHHH, SNAP!


      • Michael Saltzman

        Maybe if you’re having a squirt gun party… Definitely water balloons. You can tell from the shape: note the reservoir like section at the end of the balloon once inflated by the bike pump, the surprisingly short neck, and the rather small and compact size of the deflated form.

        Your Resident Balloonologist

      • siblingandcharybdis

        I’ll defer to your superior expertise. I have to say, though, they really could stand to work on their packaging. When you don’t label your balloons clearly, bad things happen to a lot of innocent (albeit slightly idiotic) people. –Shawn

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