Morning Rituals
By Shawn
We all have our morning rituals. Here’s one of mine.
- Get up.
- Go to coffee shop to work.
- Plug in headphones.
- Forget about discrepancy between speaker and headphone volume.
- Turn on music.
- Get not-so-subtle reminder of said discrepancy by accidentally blasting the shit out of self.
- Suppress startled scream.
- Attract attention of person sitting near me, who is alarmed by muffled yelp.
- Smile sheepishly and give “you know how it goes” shrug.
- Person does not know how it goes; looks away in mild disgust.
- Wait a day.
- Repeat.
Self, seriously, why won’t you LEARN, you damn idiot?
