Flashback time! I have to confess–sometimes I miss high school. This is probably owing to the fact that my high school was a magical place chock full of mayhem and surreal experiences. Fortunately, I used to have a livejournal in which I documented some of these events. This is only one such beautiful memory of a simpler, weirder time…
All right, so I was in AP Environmental Science yesterday, which is very frustrating to me because Ms. Howell adamantly refuses to let it be the joke class that it needs to be. But anyway, we had just finished watching this lovely lil documentary on the wolves that have been reintroduced to Yellowstone, and were discussing it in class.
“So, obviously,” Ms. Howell recaps, “there are some ranchers living outside of the park who are pretty upset about the wolves coming back because they’re afraid of their livestock being attacked. What do you think should be done about this?”
Across the room a girl’s hand shoots up. “Well, why don’t we, like, move the wolves somewhere?”
Ms. Howell raises her eyebrows, peering at the girl over the rims of her glasses. “Move the wolves?”
“Yeah, I mean, we were here first, right?” the girl points out.
“No,” replies Ms. Howell, “no, we weren’t.”
“Well, we were here better,” the girl says.
Ms. Howell just looks at her.
“Anyway, I say we move them.” The girl folds her arms across her chest.
“Okay,” Ms. Howell plays along. “And where, exactly, would we move the wolves?”
The girl is lost in thought for a moment, brow furrowing. And then the answer comes to her. “I know! What if we just, like, shove them all into Mexico?”
Ms. Howell is silent for a moment. “You know,” she says finally, “sometimes in this class I feel like I’m dying just a little on the inside.”
I know how you feel, Ms. Howell. I know how you feel.