SHAWN: Boy, I sure am enjoying this long drive up the I-95 corridor.
(Shawn’s BLADDER enters.)
BLADDER: Hey man.
SHAWN: Oh, hey my bladder.
BLADDER: Just wanted to give you a heads up. You might want to think about hitting a rest stop before you get stuck in traffic in New York.
SHAWN: That’s probably a good call. I’ll pull off at the next one I see.
(Shawn’s STUPID BRAIN enters.)
STUPID BRAIN: Not so fast!
SHAWN: Oh, hey, it’s my stupid brain that’s bad at planning.
STUPID BRAIN: You don’t need to get off at that rest stop. You can make it to the next one.
SHAWN: That’s true, I probably could.
BLADDER: I mean, you could, but it’s thirty miles away. Why don’t you just stop now?
STUPID BRAIN: Look, you’re gonna keep drinking water, right? That means waiting is more efficient.
SHAWN: A decisive and irrefutable point. You win this round.
(Thirty miles later.)
BLADDER: Alright, the next rest stop is coming up. You better pull over.
SHAWN: Yep, that’s the plan.
STUPID BRAIN: Hold on a second. It’s about noon now, right?
SHAWN: Yeah, so?
STUPID BRAIN: That means the rest stop’s gonna be crowded, and the line for gas is going to be really long. Why don’t you wait a little longer?
BLADDER: I think you’d probably regret that. Just go to the bathroom here, and get gas somewhere else if you really can’t wait in a line for five minutes.
STUPID BRAIN: Two separate stops?!? That could take an extra fifteen minutes.
BLADDER: What? Who cares?
SHAWN: No, the brain’s logic is flawless.
BLADDER: But this is the last rest stop before New York!
STUPID BRAIN: So? You can make it through New York.
BLADDER: Last time you got stuck in traffic for two hours!
STUPID BRAIN: If that had happened, I think we’d all remember it.
BLADDER: That just happened on the drive down.
STUPID BRAIN: Nah…
BLADDER: You said we could wait it out—
STUPID BRAIN: Nuh-uh.
BLADDER: —so we almost wound up peeing in a bottle—
STUPID BRAIN: Nope, nope, nope.
BLADDER: —and the only reason that didn’t happen was lingering concerns about sight-lines.
SHAWN: It seemed like truck drivers might be able to see the whole thing.
STUPID BRAIN: Okay, sure, but we didn’t wind up having to pee in that bottle. We made it just fine.
BLADDER: IT WAS HIDEOUS AGONY AND THE WHOLE THING COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED.
STUPID BRAIN: I don’t see how.
SHAWN: He has a point.
BLADDER: No he doesn’t!
SHAWN: Sure he does. We’ll just stop once we get through New York. It’ll be fine.